The root of the problem

is deep within the ground.

woven and intertwined with branches and other trees.

it doesn’t see light yet

the words and days seep into it and so it grows

you can tug at it and try to bring it up

but it will not break nor give.

there is a heaviness on my chest

and you keep adding more

I cannot hold all of this weight.

the deposit

I need the silence and the rain.

the time to regain consciousness and be sane.

i need space and sleep.

time to become complete.

the deadlines are there and i don’t care.

the papers will be submitted.

the work will get done.

the degree doesn’t matter,

the paycheck is already spent

as my life.


She asks me to come and pushes me away.

it’s a familiar game that I won’t play.

Another anchor,

adding to the flutter

and i am falling under.

i don’t know how to make it better

the same alarm goes off the same day each morning

and the same emails flood my email

the phone rings to break my daze

and i am stuck with the ball and chain around my ankle

at the desk with the uncomfortable chair

in the hot office

making minimum wage

i thought it would get better.

i’m the least paid.

overqualified and undermined.

barely making it each month.

fifteen hour days.

stinging blood shot eyes.

this is life?

The lonely one

The lonely one
Picks me up
So he can be fine
I am forced to spend this time
the minutes pass
For you to be fulfilled
As my life stands still.
nothing is completed
Dishes in the sink
You wouldn’t lend a hand
You wouldn’t even think.
I am missing
Someone i have yet to meet
Because I am still incomplete

just friends

Its weird not to hear your name in conversation

But the days flowed into each other

Like the river into the stream

And I waited

But it never was the same.

Its another day

A different me

And I never believed

It would happen.

How we could talk everyday

And than you’d just go away

to become a memory.

I never saw it coming like the break ups all before

And how healing meant more than replacing you

Or avoiding it.

The words raced down like the tear drops from my cheeks

I wanted to

But I forgot how to speak

I didn’t want empty words or meaningless sound

In which we’d say we stayed in touch.


It’s failing

Its achieving

Its being let down

Its desperation and insanity

Its being the clown

It’s sadness

Its crazy

It’s being all alone

It’s isolation

Its in the crowd.

It’s the room

That I called home.

It’s the chaos,

The dysfunction.

It’s the words

I never said.

It’s the moment,

I was so in love,

When you didn’t feel the same.

It’s watching you walk away,

not knowing

If id ever see you again.

It’s being okay,

In the midst of it all..

Or the nevers,

the maybes,

The what ifs,

And the could ofs.

It’s the one of these days

And the some days.

And feeling nothing at all.

It’s the hope that got swallowed away

And how they didn’t even care.

It’s the everything and nothing

With no balance in between.

Its wanting less and wanting more.

It’s being tired

When I am awake.

and trying to scream

but theres no sound

So I sit in silence

And they tell me how quiet I am

When it is all